Childless Once Again

I know I said the last time I sent my son away that I would never do it again. That I missed him too much to ever let him from my sight but hey this time it is only a week really only 5 days so that is better than the month last time. I am blogging this because I can because absolutely no one ever reads it anyways and because on the off chance someone does no will know it's me lol. This ship has been sailing for a while, keeping itself afloat losing lots of crew members along the way (darn planks). But here we are still sailing on our course and towards that new me I blogged about last year. A lot of things have changed since that last year my husband and I are doing somewhat better but mostly I'm doing better. My course is never smooth, storms wail at my ship day and night and the crew members jumping off are doing so because they can't handle the weather not the captain. It's been a hell of a ride so far with lots of waves. We have gotten through most of them including my hubby being unemployed. The newest storm seems to be the political arena with the pirate ship Obama but hey we have bigger cannons right? lol

Ok it has been a looooong time since I have blogged on here and I don't know how to do all the fancy stuff like pictures and backgrounds and things so my blog can get pretty boring to look at buy hey it's mine right? lol

So on the joy of 2 year olds. My son Alex just spent the last month with my mother in San Diego which he thoroughly enjoyed and I was here going nuts wanting him to come home. If any of you have ever sent your child away for any period of time you know what I am talking about. You think ahh peace and quiet, sleeping in, cleaning house and staying clean, showers whenever and time with your spouse. Yeah no one ever told you u would want time to yourself so badly but when u get it u wish it would end. Your once desirable time with your spouse is now annoying and tedious. It is fun for the first few days and then u realize why u had children in the first place, so u would have something to occupy your time and keep u away from your spouse's annoying quirks lol. U suddenly realize that noise in the morning is welcome, the screams of "mama" all day long are really, truly missed, and the bedtime routine that seemed so long and drawn out before is now something you crave every night when you have nothing else to do but stare at your spouse play on the computer. All of the things you thought you would welcome a break from are suddenly things you want to do for the rest of your life and when they finally get home you realize that you could never possibly let them go again, until the next time you think u want a break.

The world today

Ok. So I look at the world outside the four wall of my apartment and wonder what are coming to? There are teenage boys standing on top of each other climbing through the second story window, a bus dropping off the little ones at their homes at which there is no one there to greet them, and standing on the corner is a man holding a sign that say's "why lie? I need a beer" and is making more money than my husband who works. There is no doubt about it this country is gone to "hell in a handbasket" when all of these things are considered "normal and everyday" occurences. Where is the substance? Where is the "family values" that used to dictate our country? I look around and see children roaming the streets, left to their own devices and wonder why everyone asks "what is wrong with the youth of today?" Well perhaps if parents actually made homes for their children and were involved in their children's lives we would not have the issues we seem to in all parts of America. I look at my son who has barely lived in this world almost 2 years and wonder how any parent could possibly not want a connection, a bond with their child. How can parents leave their children to be adults and expect them to be adults when they never taught them how. Independence is overrated in anyone younger than 18 and possibly even then for 18 year olds may be less mature than the average 6 year old. Teaching your children to be adults and live in the world as functioning human beings starts at birth. You are raising your child to be an adult, a functioning adult. You don't just need to teach your children their colors, their name, how to read but also compassion, to stand on their own 2 feet, a good work ethic, and most of all that nothing or noone should ever come between them and their values. With this age of parents working outside the home and spending more and more time away from their children these things are even more important to be taught early and often. Teaching your children to say no to drugs is important but so is teaching them why they are saying no and that they are capable of living life without these vices and will have a better life for it. Perhaps if more people spent time with their children, playing instead of lecturing, eating meals together instead of going through a drive thru, inviting friends over to the house instead of sending your child out we would see a major difference in the youth of today. Teaching your child to be a child when they are young and how to be independent adults when they reach the age is more important than what they own. Do not expect your teenager to deal with your problems and do not expect that they will deal well with responsibility they are still young and should not be given "adult" status. Parents need to supervise. You are a parent for the rest of your life and your children should always feel that you "parented" and did not just leave them to figure out life on their own. Ok so maybe I am a little bitter at listening to parents who constantly say but they don't listen you have to make your children listen and you need to respect yourself and anyone around you important in your child's life or they will not have respect for you, the other people, or themselves. Take the day off, take your child/teenager out and do something fun insinuate yourselves into their lives as best you can, keep those tabs on them; they will not appreciate it now but later in life and as they become parents they will understand.

March 14, 2008

Well, I didn't know this place existed until today while I was wandering around on Google. No one knows I have a Google account so this should be the perfect place to be able to blog right? Just get feelings on things out or I will go insane forever.

Today has been a fairly good day but just today...the last few weeks, months, possibly years have not been that wonderful for me I just had never thought about it, until a few months ago when my husband said "our marriage is failing, I don't know if there is anyway to fix it." That got me thinking, analyzing, and just plain wondering about our paths in life. Sail the ship or sink it. Well ahoy matey's! This ship is charting a new course hope you're on board for an adventure because that is exactly what my life has become lately.

There is a famous quote I have heard throughout my entire life and I really don't know who said it but it goes "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." You choose the step. But lets' face it who walks one thousand miles once they start walking? Seriously, think about life doesn't it seem that life is a series of single steps and yet none of them ever seem to take you anywhere? The same problems crop up, the same people. I do agree in order to make it a thousand miles you have to take that first step. So here goes *step* I am stepping on board a ship setting sail for a new life and a a new me. I have been depressed too much of the time lately and I am sick of it and the person it has made me. I mean I have people avoiding me now because they feel uncomfortable about things I have said so here goes...you comin?

I guess in order to appreciate my personality you would have to know me and the person I am so if anyone actually bothers reading this you will soon understand me, know me, and join me for one hell-raising adventure of a ride!!

Set Sail!~